Cocaine Bear (2023)

…And it’s very good at being just that.

Granted, I really didn’t expect a lot from a film called Cocaine Bear. What I did expect was some satisfying creature violence and some darkly humorous comedy to pad the time between the carnage. And the film 100% delivered on these fronts.

I truly appreciated that the script wasted no time. We get to see our titular monster bear in action from the opening scene, then we get the bear minimum (pun intended) of character exposition for all the people who may or may not get mauled, and we’re off to the races for more bloody fun.

And oh, it’s pretty fun. The CGI for the bear is shockingly good at times, and the gore is always impressive. It’s not shown all the time, which was smart of them. It’s only really shown at brief moments for maximum shock. Elizabeth Banks actually does have a knack for this, as it turns out. Color me pleasantly surprised.

Of course, not all the characters get to shine. Would you expect them to? Most of them are pretty disposable. But even the inconsequential ones get fun personalities and all the actors give it their all and are clearly having fun, no matter how small their roles.

What did surprise me most was that the film actually does give the true lead characters some heartfelt beats and emotional lessons that they take away from their horrific day in the woods.

One man learns to appreciate his friends amidst his grief, another learns to stand up for what’s right, a mother and daughter learn to prioritise each other, etc. It’s nothing groundbreaking or powerful by any means, but it did make me feel something.

And I truly did not expect a movie called Cocaine Bear to make me feel anything. The film won’t be a timeless classic, but it’s a really good time at the movies.

And Y’know what? If it’s not trying to be anything other than that, I’m perfectly happy with it.